Chainsaw,

I'm writing this while sitting right in front of you, because I don't want to talk to you.  You just need to fondue with the right people.  Have you ever tried it with me?  No.  And the reason why is because I wouldn't allow such a thing.  I always have better ideas when I'm with you.  Fondue is so in the past now.  As of 2 PM today, which is yesterday somewhere else.  Nice that you speak eagle now, and that's a great song, too.  Maybe some day you could teach it to me, though I have very little patience.  Unless of course by learning it, you could call them to you and have them take you for a ride.  I would like that.  It would be worth the time.  But I get the same effect from eating cactus, too... so...  I dunno.

The toes.  Well... no, it wasn't the one with the fingernail polish.  Though, I did lick the jar.  Hope you don't mind.  Or that you do.  Either way it's a reaction.  Much better than the catatonic state you're in now.  How many of the blue pills did you take?  Or was it the combination of all of them together?  How could you even think I was "normal"?  Compared to what?!  This is the reason I'm not speaking to you, even though I'm watching the drool form neat shapes on your shirt.  You were always good at Drool Art.  I so admire you for that.  Wish I could do it, but I rarely sleep sitting up.  Usually just on the floor... sprawled out, hogging the blanket and bleeding.

So, you're taking pictures of Lizard's fridge now.  You like her more than you like me.  I knew it.  I hate her now.  Though, if you’re thinking of me while warm feelings run down your leg, you should probabley trim your nails.  Or shower.  Perhaps both.  But who am I to say.  You know they can get DNA evidence from under the nails, right?  Like blood, or tissue samples.  Northern, or Charmin or the cheap sandpaper kind?  Don't tell me that.  You know how I rash from that.  Please don't feel wounded.  There is no one else in the world like you.  You give off that vibe.  The one with the chaotic madness?  No...  Not that one, the other one.  Yes.  That one.  Who was saying goodbye?  In fact, I haven't even said hello.  I refuse to.  But I will stare at you for the rest of the night.  Perhaps it will bring you back.  Who knows.  I hope I don't have to kill you.  That would really suck.  I would miss you.

I couldn't find the explosives.  Where did you put them?  And where is the detonation switch?  You always were a sneaky little devil.  I love that about you.  Well, that, and the way your eyes glaze.  Yeah....  Well, now that I'm totally off-track it must be time to quit writing and just stare.  It would be easier if I had my hacksaw.

With love and waking nightmares,
Crazy Eye

###################

Hehehe, now it's my turn, here I am staring at you, gosh you are so feral the way you sleep, all on your back like that must be hard.  If you didn't take my toes I wonder where they are, bet your little freak friend Lizard took them.  I hate her, you said you loved her or should I say it...as we don't personify what we will have to kill.  If you hang out with her and eat her food my dove (Ozzy ate that dove's head remember...giggle) you will be normal.  Soon you will be driving a Volvo and taking your kids to soccer.  Maybe one day....  um..  Never mind the mind wanders.  Once it went to Omaha took me weeks to find it.  They don't give me the blue pills anymore, said it caused me to act too much like Skipper off of Gilligan's island, always humping people’s legs.  I have these new black pills; they make me so sad and depressed and just sad and depressed.  I'm not sure if I like that, starting to lose interest in things, haven't watered the dead things in days.  The rats are starting to leave I think they feel the change in me, Ben married a child development counselor from somewhere in Las Vegas.  I miss him he was and always will be the child, friend, and lazy Susan I never had.  Back to you my unugly and unrepulsive one, I think I need you, not certain what that means but killing isn't the same without you or dismembering heads.  You fill in a spot like that goo inside a Twinkie, I think you complete me.  I know to mushy like the brain parts we play in, crazy eye...I think you are...ummm...my face is all warm...I think you are...why is this so hard to say?  I think you are sexy eye....  Arrrgggghhh, that was painfully good like taser blasts on my private parts.  Like being lobotomized with no mouth guard.  I guess it will never be the same now that all these feelings are out there, we are like every cliche romantic movie...like Halloween, I'll be Mike Myers you be all those kids I have to kill, such a warm fuzzy series of movies.  Your friend and maybe more...your call, Chainsaw

###########

Where did you go now?  When I woke up you were gone and your note was stapled to my forehead.  How did I not notice that?!  Have you been mixing scripts into my bottled water again?  Wow.  It will know of our hate.  Oh yes.  How could it not?  After all...  We are best while working together.  Is it true, Chainsaw?  Is it really?  Are you changing?  How could you?!  You were my idol.  The way you used to stare at me...The way the blood flew in mystical patterns on the wall...  I miss that...  I do.  What a jerk you are.  You should have woke me up.  Or maybe you couldn't.  You really must be slipping.  There was a time I would have woke up dead...  What's happening to you?

Unugly and unrepulsing?!  Hmmm. Really?  See?  You ARE changing.  I'll show you taser blasts like you have never known.  I just bought it... Hehehe.  It's a new one.  Is it because you need me that you didn't kill me this time?  Unlike last time...  I love it when you kill me, have I told you that?  Especially the way you bring me back.  Hahaha.  I'm off the subject again.  Which was the stapled note on my forehead and your lack of presence.  Where did you go?  Why do you keep running away?  I won't hurt you... much....

Such a wild killer's heart.  I always liked that about you.  I think I'm beginning to like it more than I should...  Or did you put something else besides scripts in the water?  You want to make movies with me?  I would be the victim.  I play that role well....  You bring such a smile.  

Answering the call,

Crazy Eye

##############

The sad part is that it was every day staples not meat staples.  I am slipping what has happened to me?  It's you and these darn feelings, I attached the paddles to my chest and shocked myself 12 times, and still I see your picture and I don't vomit.  What strange thing have you done...you little crazy eyed wonder...I need to kill someone...maybe there is a 7-11 around.  That should relieve some stress, a nice all night place maybe some Chinese or do I feel like pizza...I need something.  You must never see me again; I need to be away from you for now, the paddles go with me...you can keep the hacksaw.  Crazy eye I think of you when there is no blood around, no screaming, no corpses, and no smell of putrid dead.  See that scares me, so much.  Need to be free of your spell, need to find new rats, they have all left.  Maybe it's time your little friend Lizard had an accident...hehehehe.  Her fridge has my name on it....  Hahahaha
Your soon to be stalking buddy and aging Lothario Chainsaw

################

I told you I hate it now.  Because you like it more than you like me.  Lizard must go.  It's good that you be the one to do it, I wouldn't be half as loving and civil.  Would have loved to have been there for the look of terror in its eyes though.  Are you bringing the fridge home, or are you just claiming it from there and keeping it under satellite surveillance?

Don't stay gone so long this time.  I know you go through these phases, but I miss the paddles already, and well... holding the hacksaw just isn't the same when I'm not defending myself against you.  It's grey here now.  Did you know they made KILLS in grey and not just white now?  Wonderful.  The painting was needed.  At least I think so.  The intense whiteness with splashed crimson was driving me insane.  They kept blending into images of you....

My advice is to stop taking the black pills.  They are depressing you, and even though your fun to poke with a stick when your depressed, you never want to do anything fun when your like that.  Maybe when you get back we can beat each other senseless with the pigeons from the roof... like we used to.

Beaks and claws, baby.  Beaks and claws

Crazy Eye

#################

I had to get away the voices are back and they sound like Elton John, it's horrible but also somewhat eyebrow raising.  I wish you hadn't painted I'm still struggling from the last painting.  I am depressed with the black pills but it is necessary because, well you remember the incident, the screaming always the freaking screaming.  Lizard is your thing, I won't kill it without your help, I have an idea....Hehehe involving lighter fluid matches and my....hehehehe wait for it, my chainsaw.  Haven't used it in so long, but this is personal, YOU made it personal.  The paddles have been juiced up even more, smelt my burning brain last time, no longer remember calculus.  Crazy eye I'm remembering stuff from the old days, your Mom, my Dad pork chops squealing pigs, do you remember?  Was it love or just applesauce...it's kind of disjointed.  Your glue sniffing buddy but not your tattoo artist Chainsaw

################

It's a little funny, this feeling inside...  I'm not one of those who can easily hide.  Don't have much money but... boy, if I did...

Yeah.  I see what you mean.  Yeah.  You're right about the screaming.  It was great for the first week or so, but after that, it started getting on my nerves.  I never twitched so hard before or since.  My head actually hit my shoulder I think.

How did you know I was here, Chainsaw?  Huh?  There are so many here, and yet you still found me hiding in the crowd.  You want to talk about applesauce.  I added cinnamon....  and...  Belladonna.  The smell.... Well, you'll see.  It's in the jar labeled pickles.

Your chainsaw, Chainsaw?  You haven't brought that out for so very long.  My eyes are wide, and I'm trembling now... not in fear like I used to, but in anticipation.  Don't ever think I wouldn't crumble my world into your applesauce either....  Because I would.  Did smoke come out your ears when your brain was sizzling?

With tightness both felt and seen,

Crazy Eye

P.S.

I believe.

##############

Belief is in the eye of thee beholder...hehehehe not this eye from that little girl guide...hehehe.  Oh she shouldn't have been there.  Her cookies were repulsive, but her brain was good eats....  Yummy.  Have to go digest...your quasi-intellectual friend and side salad Chainsaw

#############

Chainsaw...

Come home.  There are "things" missing here, and it requires your immediate attention.  I think it was good ole what's-her-face.  I'm freaking out, and there's fresh blood and I didn't put it there.  Bring back the repulsive cookies, please, thank you.  And pick up some whipped cream....

Crazy Eye

###############

That’s just one of my brothers don't sweat it, he's fairly tame, one killing a year and only politicians...I'm not proud of him.  Cookies all gone, used them to dip into the brains.  What’s up with the whipped cream, an S & M thing whipped...you are just to wonderfully weird to be my friend or my leftover eggnog from Christmas.  I'm coming home soon, the federales have been following me, and they all have freaking white dodge caravans.  Disguising themselves as families and the like, just to many of them.  I'm hiding during the day and travelling at night, will be back soon, caught some new rats; they are so cute and vicious.  Your soon to be victim and skin graft creature Chainsaw

#################

I haven't seen him yet and it's freaking me out, Chainsaw.  It really is.  Things keep disappearing, and there's all this extra laundry in the hamper...  And he bends all his spoons!  Is there something you're not telling me?

Chainsaw.  You can pick your friends.  And you can pick your nose.  But you can't pick your friend's nose.  Why is this?  

Take all the time you need.  We don't need the federales stalking the place.  Throw them off in the mountains... like you did last time.  Hehehehe.  "This road ain’t big enough for the both of us" I wonder if they heard you screaming that as they got driven over the edge....  Speaking of edges....

Well, I'll wait till you get back.  I have something to show you.  Glad you got more rats.  So sorry about the whipped cream, but you know how I am.  You'll have to stop and get more.  A spoonful helps the medicine go down.  Oh boy... new meds.  So strong...

choking and gagging on bent spoons,
Crazy Eye

################

I'm surrounded, hope you get this message, they certainly seem quite upset...Hehehe.  I managed to take out their Captain...hehehe.  Don't think I'm getting out of this one.  There are just too many, and they keep firing tear gas, they don't know I like it...and when their guys came in I managed to take out to as I bit their throat out and the other I tore out his testicles...hehehe.  They retreated and fired a substantial amount of bullets in here...hehehe.  It's really quite fun, I've been hit a few times, my blood is delicious and milky.  If I don't make it home...my Crazy eyed one...I think I may wish to be with you...that one was close.  No one could replace you...ok, maybe a nice vase, but no human.  Keep the fridge pics to remind you of who I really am.  Your friend, your special friend Chainsaw

################

I want to hurt them Chainsaw.  

I want to rip them limb from limb and make them suffer for what they have done... to you... to us.  Not gunna try to send this.  I think I'll just put it on the fridge, as I don't know whether you are alive or dead right now, and I know you would like that.  I know how fond of the old beauty you are.  Boy they just don’t make refrigerators like that anymore, now, do they?  You know I don't deal well with these negative emotions.  I won't be happy till there is blood, gore, and veins in my teeth right now.  Wish I would have been there with you, maybe I could have run my fingers through your blood before you lost consciousness.

I'm going to miss you so very much.  Why did you have to go?  And why did you leave your brother in your place?  He never talks to me... not like you used to talk to me....  Barking your wishes... cracking the whip... threatening to chop off fingers...  Yeah.  You are a dream come true.  Why do we always see these things too late?  Why did they have to find you?  I'm sorry, chainsaw.  I'm sorry I didn't see.  I do have a sword here...  I could follow you....

Your melancholy mess....
Crazy Eye

###############

Hello, this is a message for Crazy eye, my name is Tad Dukermon, I'm Greg's brother, you know him as Chainsaw.  We have his body and have charged him with paddles and he has semi-regained consciousness.  He keeps mumbling your name; he has 86 bullet holes and was dead.  The police released him to us, we will be talking him home to the institute, thought you might want to visit him, I think he would like that.  Call first, number 8675309, Jenny may answer ask for Poodles...um that's me.

-------------------------

And it is continued in Dear Chainsaw, Too!!  Muahahahaha